Lindy

So I was looking through tattoo pics, trying to find a good steampunk wing to put on my shoulder.  I got to texting Tracy, who I was planning to go get my tat with.  She made a good point to me: pick something simple for my first one, something I've liked for a long time.

I've wanted a tat since fourth grade.  It's always had a draw for me.  But really, I've been unable to ever come up with something I'll enjoy for life.  The only consistency I've had on the subject is the knowledge that I want one.  I can't think of anything that would have any special significance years down the road.  And what if something kills that significance?

I've decided not to get one - at least, not yet.  I'm about to go through a massive upheaval - graduating, moving halfway across the country, working for more than a temp job, living with a family I hardly know, living with kids, and most importantly, leaving my friends and family behind.  Every time I've left somewhere, it's been temporary.  Even going to school was only a 2 1/2, 3 hour drive.  This is a plane ride away.  What if I never see certain people again, or what if we grow apart so much we don't even know how to act around one another?

...Actually, I've given this some thought.  I want to do this.  I want something nonspecific, something I'll look upon years later and still like, that will remind me that I still have people back home.  But I can't think of a single thing that could represent so much without using specific names or anything.  Something that won't look stupid to me.

So I just saw the Avatar series finale (and about goddamn time, too!).  They pulled out ALL the goddamn stops on it.  My heart was pounding for like 45 minutes straight!  The characters, the effects, the plot, the action, everything!  Simply fucking amazing.  Seems kinda surreal that the thing I've been waiting for for over two years (obviously it didn't consume my life, but it was quite a wait) has finally happened.  I've got a couple friends who watch the show who might not've seen it, so I won't rant.

On another note, if you haven't seen this yet, go over to www.drhorrible.com (damn link thing never works for me) before tomorrow/today (Sunday) at midnight.  Like a good hour before.  It's a three-act "movie" by the makers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc) starring Neil Patrick Harris.  It's pretty cool, but they're taking it down tomorrow at midnight.

So today I started my new "job," working at home for my mom.  It was better than I expected.  Also so, so much worse.

Let me elaborate: basically, there's a bunch of STUFF - documents, maybe? - up on the company's website that explain various policies and crap.  They're supposed to be in size 12 Arial, but some of em are Times New Roman.  My job is to change all documents to 12 Arial (even the ones that already are), make sure there's nothing wrong with the first line of HTML, and make sure there aren't any hyperlinks in them.  If either of the latter two happen, I write down which one and... that's it.  Very easy.

Good parts: no customers, no coworkers, no commute, no dress code.  Also, reformatting stuff is fun.  Whenever I download a game walkthrough online I reformat it all the slow way, so I can watch it gradually change over a few days.  That is my idea of fun.

Bad stuff: working for my mom, being forced to stare at a computer screen til my head throbs and my eyes burn, and then some.  I only worked 5 hours today and I have to work 8 hours most days, with weekends off (I think/hope).  Plus, formatting isn't fun when you're technically not doing anything.  Like I said, most of the documents already are in Arial, but they make me switch it anyway.

What makes it truly worth it: I have less free time.  I NEEDED less free time, especially since I don't have google, youtube or a car at my constant disposal.  So while the work is boring, once I have time to myself I treasure it.  That, and I'm being paid thirteen bucks an hour.  

Before I started all this, I wondered if it was really that important to have the larger font.  Believe me, it is.  I was looking at that larger font for five hours and my eyes feel like they want to bleed; I can't imagine what Times New Roman would do.

I can only hope that my tolerance for boredom and staring at a monitor go up, cuz when I stopped after five hours it was cuz I just couldn't focus anymore; I was getting sloppy, and nothing I did could stop it.  

On a completely different note, I got a haircut.  It looks disturbingly like that of a character from Drake and Josh, the Disney Channel show.  Or like the lead singer from Journey.  Either way, I find it very amusing...  Although I doubt I'll hold onto that opinion when I have to learn how to use a hir straightener.  Fuck good grooming, bedhead is the way to go.  Yeah Doug.

That's right, bitches, I've lost a bit of weight!  Not much, but it's a start.  It's really easy when the cook is a health food nut.  Even the chips and soda she buys are organic and healthy.  WEIRD. 

Watching the kids has been tolerable.  Mackenzie, the baby, is adorable, and almost able to walk.  She's officially able to climb onto thinks and fall off, scaring the shit out of herself.  Avery, the five year old, is a handful.  She keeps telling us to call her Delete, the name of a character from her favorite show, Cyberchase.  She throws tantrums like nobody's business, and only listens to me when I refuse to play with her.  Well, and today, when she finger-licked the cream cheese when I told her not to, I refused to cook her a bagel for ten minutes.  But hey, she'd already had breakfast, so it wasn't like I was starving her.

Anyways, I've only got three more days of nannying, then on Tuesday it's off home! I get in at around 6:30, take the shuttle to Braintree, and Mom'll pick me up from there.  Then it's off home, to play my new game!  I hope it's good; it got great reviews, and I've been fiending for a game.

Well, that's about it.  Bye!

So yeah, today Mom gave me a decent amount of change in a bucket, so I went to Stop and Shop to use the coinstar, so I could get real money for it.  And so I could put off packing.  Good times.  Anyways, the machine was full, so I had to lug the damn bucket around while I hunted down some sunscreen (SPF 50 was the highest they had, I'm gonna burn).  Sunscreen in hand, I drove down to the FYE and got myself some pocky (I love that damn chocolate pocky) and a movie I saw three or four years ago.  I'm quite stoked that I found it, since I'd never been able to in the past.  Then I took great joy in breaking diet by scarfing down some Wendy's.  Deelishus.  Came back, started packing, blah blah blah.  I also cleaned the house a bit, since Grandma is coming over for dinner and I got to choose the meal o.O.  I NEVER get to choose the meal, and usually Mom and Thomas go out the night before I go back to school for months on end.  What's so special about a single month in Colorado?  I'm suspicious.  I know I'm probably looking a gift horse in the mouth (what the hell is a gift horse and what's so bad about looking in its mouth?), but this kind of attention is unheard of.  Ah well, back to packing.  I'll update in a few days to let you know what the brats are like.

PS Some dude gave me a peace sign while I was driving.  It made me happy, cuz at first I thought it had one finger less.

I shall be incommunicado for over a week.  Why?  Well, if you haven't heard it from me (unlikely), I'm going to Alaska to visit my aunt, uncle and cousin.  I just hope my aunt from RI, who is going with us, doesn't turn this into one big fat shopping trip.  Don't get me wrong, I like shopping, but I like QUICK shopping.  Here's how my shopping goes, with everything.  "Do I like it?  Yes.  Is it cheap?  Yes.  Do I want it enough to part with precious moneys in order to obtain it?  Yes."  There we go.  With so many other women, it goes so much deeper.  "Do I have anything that goes with it?  Do I have anything similar to it?  When and how often will I use this?" and so many other factors I can't even begin to comprehend.  Blah.

Anyways, Mom got me an MP3 player for the trip so I'll have something to listen to!  Woohoo!  I wasn't expecting that.  *does the happy Lindy dance*

I'll update when I get back so you can hear, in annoying detail, how the trip went.

What are your favorite and least favorite words? Any reasons why?

Oh, God, let's see...  Ooh!  I REALLY like the word "vicissitude".  I heard it in a Bush song and fell in love with it.  Not that I EVER get to use it.  Oh, and the word "scruples" makes me want to strangle something.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe cuz the short story I first saw it in sucked, or maybe because it just sounds dumb.  "Scruples."

"Heeby-jeebies" makes me all giggly, especially if I'm so tired that everything is funny. 

God I'm bored.  Somebody entertain me. 

So yeah, eventful day.  Got up at 6 (I don't know how I did that every day for thirteen years) and had Mom drive me to Dad's house.  Then I emptied out the shitbox old car, and took off its license plates.  The tow truck dude showed up at like 8:30, and towed it away.  To sweeten that up, I got SEVENTY-FIVE BUCKS for it!  Pretty good for a car that won't start that I didn't pay for.  Especially when I'm broke and unemployed.  ESPECIALLY since the car is a Ford.  Fords suck.

So yeah, then my brother and I watched Running Scared, a Paul Walker movie.  I'm not big on Paul Walker (especially in 2 Fast 2 Furious... *shudder), but he was pretty decent in this.  Good action scenes, good plot, good character development.  Not something I'd buy, but good for watching with a few friends.  It gets kind of graphic so Angela people with weak stomachs shouldn't watch; I had to look away a few times, like during a scene that I suspect had a Mike Tyson moment in it.

After that it was off to the oral surgeon, which always delights me because the appointments are so short.  Half a minute in the waiting room, two minutes waiting for the doctor, and a minute checking on how my gums are healing.  Nice nice.  After that it was off to the DMV.

Oh.  My.  GAWD.  I'd never been there before, but I have to say, three hours' wait is a bit much.  Especially when a guy plunks his very restless, screaming five-ish year old next to you.  I kept getting kicked in the side whenever the kid started squirming, and I gave him like three feet of personal space.  It's kids like that who make me think people scream abuse too early with kids.  Don't get me wrong; child abuse is a terrible thing.  I just don't think it's abuse if you spank a child when he/she does something bad, or give em a light smack across the face when they won't shut up in public.  Worked for me.  Besides, the kid was beyond toddler age and was still speaking garbled nonsense.  The only word I understood was "daddy."  PROBLEM.

Anyways, I got through the DMV experience (found out that they registered it to me instead of Mom, but ah well), and asked Dad if I could crash at Colleen's place for a night or two.  She's cool with it, so yay.  Which is good, because Thomas is getting so bad even Mom says he's trying to pick fights.  Don't worry, I'm not gonna get into it.

But this is AWESOME.  Colleen's house on a Saturday night means two things: Chinese food and kitties!  *Waits for the obligatory "Chinese food is made of cats" comment*  If it really is, I have to find out how they make crab rangoons; Keykey is a butt and he would taste delicious wrapped in dough and fried. 

Mom told me not to spend all $75 at once.  But I need so much stuff!  I need something to read, maybe a cheap video game, a CD or two...  Okay, so the only one I really NEED right now is a book.  I'm bored with my stuff.  I might buy a picture book on angels I saw at Barnes and Noble.  It wasn't a kid's book or anything.  I might need to buy it just so I can molest one of the pictures; I'm gonna marry it.  That'll be like, what, my 34508766491867723482873446 husband?  SWEET.

Yeah, I'm really bored.  Just came down from a Pirates 3 high.

1. Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favourite Movie:
5. Favourite Song or Album:
6. Favourite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
10. What's your philosophy of life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favourite memory of us?
14. What is your favourite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarky) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favourite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?

So I'm sure all of you know how much I dislike (cough*loathe*cough) my mom's husband, Thomas.  However, I like to think that I've grown a bit since last year; I've been much nicer to him since then, even before I learned that his son is dying of cancer.  This isn't a pity thing; sad though his situation is, I rarely think of it.  Not because I don't care about the end of a human life, but because I barely know the guy and mourning his illness is, in my opinion, an insult to his life.  No, I've been nicer to Thomas to make peace.  Friends we will never be, but I had hoped that we could reach an unspoken agreement of civility.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Not only has he continued with his stupid condescending remarks - irritating, but nothing to lose my temper over - but he resorts to petty pranks.  The remarks I can ignore, and sometimes even poke fun of myself - irritated at him though I am - to show that I bear no ill will, despite my angry outburst at him last summer.  However, the petty pranks are difficult to ignore.  The main one has been going on since winter - he has been tampering with my showers.  Until today I have relied on no more than mere suspicion; despite the fact that our water heater never runs out of hot water, my showers always suddenly turned cold.  Years ago this was normal, and pounding on the wall or slamming the temperature knob back and forth would fix this.  However, when this happens only to me and only at times when my mom is not home, I get suspicious.  The one time it did happen when mom was home, it happened to her as well.  She went downstairs to find the water heater turned off.  She assumed that Thomas had to mess with the water heater and forgot to turn it back on.  She turned the heater off mid-shower for him in retaliation, and for a few days my showers were hot again. 

I've suspected him the whole time, but kept to myself because I didn't want to be the jerk who falsely accused someone due to past strife.  However, today I waited until noon to take my shower, because Thomas had been in his room for a half hour.  Since my bathroom is right next to his and mom's room, I heard exactly when he exited his room - a mere minute after I started my shower - and soon after I heard the basement door slam, after which time the shower water became frigid.  Hard proof?  Hardly.  Still, undeniable food for thought.

Is this about the showers?  Partially.  If there is one time I don't like fucked with, it's shower time.  It's my guaranteed alone time, when I think the clearest.  In addition, showers are what keep me warm.  If I get cold, I can't get warm again until I have a hot shower, no matter how ht the air is and how many blankets I huddle under. 

Mainly, though, this is about pettiness.  I am willing to put the past behind me and... well, not start fresh, but keep the peace.  He doesn't seem to be so willing.  The thing is, I've been nothing but nice to him since winter break.  I'm trying to make up for yelling at him last summer, but he throws my efforts in my face.  I think part of the problem is our perception of the phrase "fuck you."  I say things like that every day, even when I'm laughing at something.  Granted, I said it to him in anger, but the f-bomb doesn't mean as much to me as it does to him.  To him it's taboo; to me it's another word.  I'm not saying I'm blameless in this; I carry my fair share.  Still, it'd be nice if he accepted some responsibility, too,

Maybe I'm reading too much into this; I want to be able to hate him guilt-free.   I won't lie about that.   Still, it's hardly fair that  he can pick on me all he wants and there's nothing I should do about it.   If I could get away with it (and didn't find it completely repulsive),  I'd forgo  bathing and hygiene of every kind until I could get a guarantee for hot showers.  Nothing sucks quite like having a head full of shampoo to have the hot water shut off right as you dunk your head under the stream.  So I'll give in.  No showers until after he goes to bed.  If that works, I'll shower when Mom's home. 

Wow, I should've put this under a cut.  Oh well, nobody else does it.  G'night, everybody!

So yeah, my car broke down.  I kinda sorta broke it.  The water pump and possibly the catalytic converter were already broken, so the check engine light was on and whenever I drive in not-freezing weather it overheats when I'm stopped.  If I turn the heat on during such times, the car cools down but runs rougher.  So this weekend I had to drive it all the way to my dad's house so my brother could fix the water pump.  Well, near the end of the drive I forgot to turn on the heat at a red light, so I overheated it and blew a head gasket.  At this point it would be VERY expensive to make the car pass inspection, so we're just gonna get rid of it and buy another car.  I go through cars like a diarrhea patient goes through toilet paper.  ....Ew.  That was gross.

So yeah, if I don't get a car soon I won't be able to get a job.  As it is, I don't think the Tokyo trip is gonna happen.  Unfortunate, but there's nothing I can do. 

Ah well.  At least I'm getting out of the house a lot this week.

Urgh, and I'm SO PISSED!  I lost my favorite CD!  I remember bringing it home over winter break, but it's gone!